National Coming Out Day

Today is National Coming Out Day, and I wanted to take a minute  to remind you all of the importance of coming out. Coming out is the first step in changing hearts and minds. That guy next door, the humble Christian? He’s also gay. That professor you respect, think is funny and smart and you want to be just like her? She’s transgender. Public politics create the changes we all need and deserve, but personal stories change hearts and minds… and hearts and minds that change make changes in the voting booth.

It’s not easy, and it takes more courage to say those few words than it does to give a lengthy speech in front of a crowd of people.  But think of all the weight and pain that results from staying in the closet. I can’t say that life is cake from there on, but I can tell you life gets so much better from taking that simple step. That weight will never be on your shoulders again. It’s freeing.

I’m Alex and I’m an openly gay transgender man. Today is National Coming Out Day, and I’m coming out for equality. Not just for me, but for you too.

Email me at

“Gay brothers and sisters, you must come out. Come out to your relatives… come out to your friends,  if indeed they are your friends. Come out to your neighbors… to your fellow workers… to the people who work where you eat and shop. Come out only to the people you know, and who know you. Not to anyone else. But once and for all, break down the myths, destroy the lies and the distortions. For your sake. For their sake. For the sake of the youngsters who are becoming scared by the votes from Dade to Eugene.” – Harvey Milk


5 thoughts on “National Coming Out Day

  1. sirgarreth says:

    I am so impressed by people who can be out and transitioning while on the job. It’s scary enough for me in the vacuum of a pretty liberal arts college campus. It’s people like you who do the most to change people’s minds about LGBT issues. So, thanks (and congrats, seems like the transition is going well from the couple of posts I have checked out so far)!

    • It is definitely difficult, and while coming out is fabulous and needed and honorable, if coming out jeopardizes someone’s job, safety, or welfare, it’s obviously not the right time. But in the end, I’d recommend the same thing–get somewhere where you can come out. Being in the closet has been proven time and time again to be unhealthy. I’ve been there and I know it’s terrible, and I’d have to say it takes just as much courage to deal with a life where you can’t be out as it does to come out. So kudos to you for embarking on your journey, even if it may not be the right time for you to be out right now.

      • sirgarreth says:

        Thank you! I appreciate it. I do think being in the closet in any fashion is pretty rough. I am alright in terms of being out while I am on my college campus. It is outside of that space that I worry.

  2. junoroche says:

    Hi I miss coming out day by about a week, as I have meeting next week (19th Oct) with HR and my union. I am trans (MTF) and work in a school . I am not sure how this workplace will take it, I have already lost one job but I am hopeful and this time feel much stronger as the law is on my side so I will fight. Anyway glad to have found your blog.

    • Juno,

      I hope your meeting with HR goes well. My partner and I are both transmen and work at a large university. Transitioning and/or coming out at work can be very stressful, and we have both had our fair share of negative experiences in the workplace. Post on your blog about how it goes. I’ll be looking forward to hearing about how the meeting went.



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