So I figured it was time to give an update about how I’m feeling and where I’m at with my gender identity. It’s difficult to sit down and explain, however, because I am still so confused about it.
One topic that is awkward to talk about but others may relate to is the issue of getting my period. I hate it. It’s actually probably more than that. I abhor it. Furthermore, when I have my period, I absolutely hate every inch of my body. My breasts all of a sudden turn into “rolls,” I want to chop off any hint of hips that I do have, and just loathe every inch of my body in general.
One thing that is sure: I am not a woman. I do not want to be a woman. But I am most definitely not a man. I do not want a penis, not even a little.
I have an ideal in my head, but it’d be a difficult process to follow, and I’d be afraid of losing people that are close to me.
So for now, I’m just left trying to figure out who I am dnd how I can be comfortable in myself and in my body. I’m not sure it’s possible, but I keep trying to make it work.